Blog
Befriending the darkness
We’re moving into the darkest time of the year. The days are shortening; the nights seem to be increasing their steady pull into the intensity
What you’re feeling is between you and you
(I facilitate a wonderful group called the Life Alignment Program. An excellent question came up from one of the members and I decided to share
The (Core) Essentials
THE (CORE) ESSENTIALS: October 12-14 Cost $350 ($300 before September 12) This is the workshop for the workbook–the “Relationship Skills Workbook,” that is. Immerse yourself
Shame dies when exposed to light
I don’t know if it’s something about the spring, or an astrological issue, or just life unfolding. It’s been an intense time in my office,
Selfish? Selfless…or Selfull
“You are so SELFISH!” This particular invective has so much power, people (especially women) arrange their entire lives around making sure that others won’t ever
Loving your Reactive Brain (and everyone else’s, too)
When was the last time that your body was triggered? Yesterday? 10 minutes ago? Are you triggered right now, with the telltale signs: elevated pulse,
What Happened to the Zing?
I was just in Madison, Wisconsin, at the National Women’s Music Festival, where I taught some workshops on catalyzing conscious relationships. Since we were in
Bark, Growl and Wimper!
I recently worked with a couple recently that was totally stuck. Sleep-deprived with a newborn, they found themselves irritable with each other, having conversations that
Depression’s elegy
Robin Williams, our beloved cultural jester, gone by his own hand. How could this be? For those of us who have struggled with the mighty
The scourge of blame
A plane is shot down with hundreds of lives lost, thousands more forever changed. Boys playing on the beach are bombed into unrecognizability. The finger-pointing
Loving your Reactive Brain (and everyone else’s, too)
When was the last time that your body was triggered? Yesterday? 10 minutes ago? Are you triggered right now, with the telltale signs: elevated pulse,
Selfish? Selfless…or Selfull
“You are so SELFISH!” This particular invective has so much power, people (especially women) arrange their entire lives around making sure that others won’t ever
For Leslie; for us all
You may have heard that we lost a dear friend last week. Leslie True Wilson died after a brief hospitalization. We had a celebration of
This s*&% really works
We say that back and forth to each other at the BC3*, sometimes as a high-five, sometimes with wonderment on our faces. “You know, when
What if God was all of us?
I grew up Episcopalian. I went with my family to church until I was a teenager, sang in the choir, can still sing to you
A Thanks-receiving message from Rev. Peter Munson
Peter Munson is a great friend and inspiring colleague. I’m passing along his wise words for this Thanksgiving Day. Meditation for 27 November 2013 From
What is your mantra?
man·tra noun ˈmän-trə also ˈman- or ˈmən- : a sound, word, or phrase that is repeated by someone who is praying or meditating : a word or phrase that is
After the Flood, by Oak Chezar
Oak is a great friend, a member of our conscious community, and an incredible poet, activist, and torchbearer for all things good and true. She
The cost of Narrow Focus
Sirens blaring. The booming voice ominously repeating the warning to MOVE TO HIGHER GROUND IMMEDIATELY. The images on YouTube and TV of flooding and rescues
It’s all true
Don’t you wish there was a way to figure out what’s true and what isn’t? As in–is it true that people are basically good, or
Bark, growl, and whimper.
I worked with a couple recently that was totally stuck. Sleep-deprived with a newborn, they found themselves irritable with each other, having conversations that quickly
Shame dies when exposed to light
I don’t know if it’s something about the spring, or an astrological issue, or just life unfolding. It’s been an intense time in my office,
We’re all cells in this together
7,085,570,680. That’s how many of us there are in the world–well, about two minutes ago. The number of us cells there are that make up
Befriending the Goo
This morning I was just talking to someone about her process of being in the Goo. Last night it was a close family member who
Coming out as a rutabagean
“When we’re fully in flow, we could be attracted to a rutabaga.”* —Gay Hendricks I’ve been getting more educated about transgender issues. My brilliant colleague,
My thoughts on the bombing
What I’ve noticed about the bombing is my own lack of reaction. I don’t know anyone personally who has been impacted, and I don’t have
I can hardly believe it
Imagine this. It’s 1993. Amendment 2 had recently passed in Colorado, making it legal to discriminate against gays and lesbians. For Colorado gays and lesbians,
Link to my webinar: 5 Key Skills for the Relationship Ride
This was my maiden voyage into the world of the webinar, and even more, to Keynote (the Apple version of PowerPoint). I had a blast!
Living happily in the present moment
I’ve been reading Thich Nhat Hanh‘s book, Art of Power. It’s one of those books that’s been on my shelf for quite awhile, until now,
Adding oomph to “I love you”
Have you noticed how “I love you” can be like an empty gift box–wrapped well, but with nothing inside? I first observed this sitting with
Top 10 powerful ideas I learned from Ayurveda
I’ve been thinking and talking with folks a lot about health lately. As I was using my tongue scraper this morning (it’s a way to
Treasure hunting (for your True Self)
Audio Comments: Treasure Blog Last Saturday, I taught a class to the Intensive Learning Community (the ILC, the ongoing community of learners committed to living
Loving the bad guys
Having had time to process some of my horror and outrage about the Newtown shootings, I’ve had time to muse on the greater implications. Specifically, I’ve
Are you in balance with giving and receiving?
Here we are in the middle of the holiday season, when the to-do list can seem endless, and energy hard to come by. As you
Giving, receiving, and flow
In my last post, I talked about conscious giving and receiving, and how a nearly universal belief in our culture is that “tis better to
Conscious Giving and Receiving
“It’s the season of giving!”–Right? Perhaps–though maybe conscious giving and receiving require new skills. Specifically, the ability to ask yourself “what is the truth about
What story are you telling yourself?
Recently, I’ve become fascinated by the stories we tell ourselves, and the impact they have on our inner states and on how we live our
My manifesto
In my last series of posts I introduced the idea that, in the choice between being right or being happy, choosing HAPPY means choosing you.
I Choose Happy! Process Step 5: YOUR MANIFESTO
I started this series on October 10, and said it would be two weeks. Wellll–here we are, twenty days later–are you still with me? To
I Choose Happy! Process Step 4
The “I Choose Happy!” Process is a way to discover your essence and then build your life around what is most important to you. It’s
I Choose Happy! Process Step 3.1
So far, we’ve: Committed to choosing Happy over Right; Listed the Measure of Success that you learned from other people; Sorted out your own Measures
I Choose Happy! Process Step #3
In my last three blog posts, I’ve introduced you to the idea of “choosing happy” (versus being RIGHT) as a guiding principle for your whole
I Choose Happy! Process Step #2
In I Choose Happy! Step #1, I asked you to make a commitment to choosing being happy over being right. You might have experienced what
I Choose Happy! Process Step #1
In my last post, I described my new discovery of taking the question, “would you rather be right or be happy?” to a whole new
Taking right versus happy to a whole new dimension
“Would you rather be right or be happy?” That question is a stock query in spiritual circles. I’ve used it in my relationship workshops to
How can I tell if I’m in Reactive Brain (aka “the ego)?
(This is the 2nd in a series on how to tell if you’re in Reactive Brain (aka “your ego”). You can follow along with the
What the heck is an ego, anyway??
Have you ever wondered what the “ego” really is? I don’t mean Freud’s id/ego/superego. I’m talking about how common it is for spiritual writings to
Knowing versus Solving
When I taught at Michigan Womyn’s Music Festival, some participants were incredulous at the idea that it was possible for everyone to get everything they
Join me for the RIDE Program
You may have read my recent post about having presented at the Michigan Womyn’s Music Festival. It’s this kind of event that re-inspires my work,
Hello, Michigan!
Greetings to my sweet, brave, and, fun companions from the Michigan Womyn’s Music Festival! I had the honor and the thrill of teaching around 100 women
A response to the theatre shootings
WAKE UP! Another mass shooting. 12 dead, 58 wounded watching a movie. WAKE UP! 69 people killed at a Norwegian summer camp. WAKE UP! 13
“What happened to the zing?”
I was just in Madison, Wisconsin, at the National Women’s Music Festival, where I taught some workshops on catalyzing conscious relationships. Since we were in
Announcing the RIDE Program!
I love the world of relationships. Since I was a kid and read “Can this marriage be saved?” column in my mother’s Ladies Home Journal
Are you interested in adding your body into your work?
I taught a training this morning with some employees who do front-line, angry-customers-in-their faces kind of work. We played around with Reactive Brain and Creative
The Garden of Eden: Our first triangle story
A beloved BC3 member, Dr Dee Cooper, led us through a “God and the Triangle” evening last week that I found to be provocative and fascinating.
In response to Newsweek’s Superman cover
(This is a letter to the editor I just sent off. The title of the article is “America is Winning–and Why” and the cover shows
Are humans just acting from trauma?
There’s a high school in Walla Walla Washington that has discovered a new disciplinary approach, and has seen its numbers of suspensions drop by 85%.
How do you create?
Awhile back I read someone’s opinion (backed up by his research) that people aren’t more creative in groups. He suggested that, if companies are wanting
The light and the dark
I’ve been seeing a young client who has become devastated by his inability to be happy, to uplift himself and those around him. To carry
Trusting yourself by being fully present
I work with lots of folks who have been traumatized in one way or another. (Trauma is actually extremely common; from the “big T” traumas
Solving global warming (and other calamities)
(Earlier today, a beloved member of the Intensive Learning Community here at the BC3 posted about her grief and despair about global warming. We’ve had
Loving the ride
I rode my bike home tonight. It was dark outside, and I was in my shirtsleeves–in March! The evening air felt exhilarating, and I stood
Committing to life
Katie Hendricks just spent the weekend here in Boulder, spreading her wisdom to the BC3 and beyond. I’m fascinated and grateful that, even after 17
The courage to be conscious
I led a “fishbowl coaching” session last night, where brave souls agree to be in the middle, getting coached by me, while others support and
How do your fires burn?
Yesterday, I taught my annual One Day Intensive on Sexuality, Creativity, and Aliveness to a wonderful group of participants. It was a lively day, as
Stories solidify, feelings flow
We humans are brilliant at storytelling, and, judging from the endless stream of movies, plays, TV shows, and celebrity gossip columns, we entrance ourselves with
Make it happen? Let the river flow.
There’s a part of me that wants to MAKE THINGS HAPPEN. You? Do you ever feel the urge to get it done, push it through,
The preciousness of our resolve
I was in my Bikram yoga class, late this January afternoon. I love that time, being in a hot, humid room as the sky outside
Letting the feelings flow
Labile. Moody. Unstable. Childish. Erratic, fickle, fitful, flighty. We have so many words to describe people who don’t control their emotions, who make the mistake
Appreciating Las Vegas
My partner and I just spent a few days in Las Vegas. The idea of this makes me chuckle, as I remember when I thought
Loving obstacles
I’m a student of manifestation. I have ongoing intentions, I write them down and speak them out loud, I believe that living in integrity gives
The lure of victim consciousness
The other day, I sat down with one of my favorite spirituality-focused magazines. I looked forward to feeling the inspiration of the words, to connecting
Does being afraid make you a wimp?
Many folks believe that there’s something wrong with certain emotions. It might be OK to be scared and sad, but not mad–that’s mean! Or anger
Happiness as an indicator, not a drift
“Happy idiot.” “Happy fool.” Somehow, our culture has associated being happy with being out of touch with reality, or just being plain stupid. Happiness ends
When two strong minds clash…
…how does a couple get unstuck? This came up as a question from someone who has been trying tools from my book, The Relationship Ride.