Self-hate, self-love

Adding oomph to “I love you”

Have you noticed how “I love you” can be like an empty gift box–wrapped well, but with nothing inside? I first observed this sitting with couples where one was ending the relationship. “I don’t want to be with you. But I love you. I’ll always love you.” Watching the recoil of the receiver of this […]

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Are you interested in adding your body into your work?

I taught a training this morning with some employees who do front-line, angry-customers-in-their faces kind of work. We played around with Reactive Brain and Creative Brain, how to tell one from the other. I advocated to this women-only crowd the radical notion that they prioritize taking care of their own bodies, which were clearly paying

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The Garden of Eden: Our first triangle story

A beloved BC3 member,  Dr Dee Cooper, led us through a “God and the Triangle” evening last week that I found to be provocative and fascinating. (The “Triangle” refers to Stephen Karpman’s 1968 formulation that humans get stuck when we find ourselves somewhere in the zone of Victim, Rescuer, or Persecutor. If you’re interested, you can

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The lure of victim consciousness

The other day, I sat down with one of my favorite spirituality-focused magazines. I looked forward to feeling the inspiration of the words, to connecting with kindred spirits. I was surprised by what I found. Though the intention of the magazine is clearly to uplift and communicate principles of higher consciousness, I could feel my

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Invest your energy wisely

If you think about it, deciding that what is happening should not be happening is a first step into making yourself feel reeeeallly crazy. Criticizing and complaining are the outcomes of this crazy-making stance. Our orientation seems to be: in the middle of an experience to  judge it as good or bad, then try to

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