“But what do I say to my family??” 4 ways to create peace at the Thanksgiving table.

The election has exposed a deep schism in our country. It’s been there all along, but, like an earthquake, the fault-lines have cracked us open in an unprecedented way. The aftershocks—of grief, rage, even terror, for some, contrasted with full-out celebration and glee of others—are still rippling through. As each side sizes up where the

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I just don’t trust–who?

To state the obvious, trust is a major issue in relationships. In fact, when I see couples, it follows “communication” as The Issue. “I don’t trust you because you…” …cheated on me. Lied to me, betrayed me. Tricked me. Hurt me. Hurt me DEEPLY. As we get under the superficial presenting issue, however, I invariably

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Flow happens

Have you experienced flow in your life? I know when I’m in flow when I’m part of life, letting myself be taken by the currents. Like a river rafter, I might be in high waters or low, or maybe I’ll occasionally bounce off a rock or go through some scary rapids, but I’m moving through life.

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What if you knew you were fully supported by life?

Have you ever felt like you were battling against life, that life, somehow, “had it in” for you? That, despite your best efforts, you couldn’t “make” something happen? Me too. Then I started imagining a new paradigm. It started with this question: What if I believed I was fully supported by life? That’s one of those

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Soothe it, don’t solve it

Have you had this conversation with a partner? (It’s likely that you were either “A” or “B” as this dynamic tends to lend itself to polarization.) A: We HAVE to talk about money. I was just paying the bills and we’re running out of money. We need a BUDGET! B: Wellllll….OK.  A: So let’s start

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The power of love–pass it on!

We’ve heard these ideas over and over: Love is powerful. Love heals all wounds. Love what is. Love yourself. Love your neighbor as yourself.  All you need is love. For many years, I had no idea what people were talking about. Sure, I loved my family and friends. I had romantic partners and knew that

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Do you live in a friendly universe?

Do you live in a friendly universe?   “I think the most important question facing humanity is, ‘Is the universe a friendly place?’ This is the first and most basic question all people must answer for themselves.” Albert Einstein I’ve been reading a wonderful book by a veterinarian, Linda Bender, DVM, called Animal Wisdom. I expected

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Selfish? Selfless…or Selfull

“You are so SELFISH!” This particular invective has so much power, people (especially women) arrange their entire lives around making sure that others won’t ever say it–or even think it–about them. They stay as far away from “selfish” as they can, flipping them to the other pole, being “selfless.” Surely that’s better, right? To walk

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What if God was all of us?

I grew up Episcopalian. I went with my family to church until I was a teenager, sang in the choir, can still sing to you the beautiful Sanctus that Father Howell would intone before Communion. I loved the stained glass, the vestments, the rituals. And I never understood anything that was being said. I’d try,

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