“I don’t want to make that mistake again.”

I talk to many people about what they want in their next relationship. Often they’re gun-shy. They look back in time at their past relationships, and have some view of “I don’t want to make those mistakes again.” They judge themselves, their ex-partners, and their “failed” relationship, and vow that the next partnership will be different. They spend time making lists of their perfect partners, and when they meet a prospective candidate, use their list to quickly cross off the person if he or she doesn’t meet their criteria.

There is wisdom in being clear about what you really want in a partner–it certainly can make life easier to sort through the kind of people you want to be around, and those you don’t. What I don’t like, however, is the view of past relationships as “mistakes.” From two weeks to several decads, people look back and subsume their entire experience with someone else as being somehow wrong, bad, destructive. A big mistake.

What if, instead, you saw your relationships with an entirely different perspective? From this view, your soul chose the experience it wanted to have.

You see, souls aren’t like egos. Egos like predictability and control, white picket fences and good retirement plans. For souls, however, that predictability translates into a very boring existence. Souls want experience, challenge, adventure! Souls are here to evolve. Without the next big challenge, there is no push for evolution.

Look back through your own relationships. How did they challenge you? How did you evolve? What did your soul get to learn? You might want to drop a card to those folks you might previously have seen as “mistakes” and thank them for helping you get to your next level of growth.

Join me for a free teleclass on Monday, January 31, 6-7pm, MST. The topic will be: Introduction to Catalyzing Conscious Relationships. For more information/to register, click here.

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