If I were queen of the planet earth, my first decree would be thus:
ANYBODY GETS TO FEEL ANYTHING, ANYTIME, FOR ANY REASON.
When I figured out this rule of living, I was stepping towards liberation of my spirit, of my life.
I had operated this way: I’d feel kind of grumpy or out of sorts, and try to figure out “why.” I’d look around me. Did I have a good reason to feel mad? No–clearly, everyone was doing the best they could, so I shouldn’t feel mad. How about scared? Nope. Only weenies get scared. Sad? What do I have to feel sad about? Look at everything I have, all the privilege, I’ve got plenty to eat and a roof over my head. I should be HAPPY!
But I wasn’t happy. I was depressed. Maybe it was biochemical…
Then I stumbled into the Hendricks‘ work. They talked about the five basic feelings, about breathing and moving through them. I was quite perplexed.
Eventually, I got it: I’d been doing everything inside-out. AHA!
I learned to start with the sensations–all of which are valid just because that’s what’s happening, whether I like it or not. My jaw is tight, my stomach is in a knot, my chest feels heavy. Like a checklist. No more meaningful than that.
Connecting the emotions to the sensations was the next step. My jaw feels tight: I feel anger. It just is. I don’t have to even know the reason. I just have to let myself feel anger. THEN IT MOVES THROUGH.
If you decide to be queen or king of your own inner world, consider passing this law for yourself.
I GET TO FEEL ANYTHING, ANY TIME, FOR ANY REASON.
And so does everybody else.