If you loved me…

Have you thought this?

If you loved me, you would

  • bring me flowers
  • appreciate me more
  • call/text/email me
  • consider my feelings
  • be more thoughtful
  • not use that tone
  • use the other tone, the nice, kind one
  • look into my eyes
  • stop staring at me
  • want to be sexual
  • let me decide when to be sexual
  • let me sleep
  • wake me up
  • give me space
  • get close to me
  • tune into what I’m really saying
  • let me be a jerk sometimes
  • not be so nice to me when I’m I’m being a jerk
  • tell me the truth
  • …except about THAT
  • fill in your list:

How do we end up connecting being loved with this long list of behaviors that we expect from our intimate others?

I LOVE YOU is an action. At a particular moment I create the vibration of love, and then decide to send it your way. That action has nothing to do with what you are currently doing, or did or didn’t do. It’s my choice, and I can do it anytime, anywhere. Expecting this particular action to be in any way connected to whatever else is happening is like trying to twist together smelling the spring fragrance of lilacs with standing on one’s head or dancing a jig. There is no connection, and trying to link them can look foolish.

Want to know if I’m loving you?

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