In I Choose Happy! Step #1, I asked you to make a commitment to choosing being happy over being right. You might have experienced what is very common after making a new commitment: that the obstacles to that commitment appear right away. Maybe you had thoughts like, “This is stupid, Julie lives in a totally different world than me,” or “Forget it, this is impossible.” You might even have felt completely unhappy and despairing about it all. That’s all to be expected in setting out in a new direction.
I also want to remind you that making a new commitment happens before you get any information as to the How (as in “yes, but how do I become happy? What do I DO!?”). Your stepping out into the Great Unknown of this commitment to choosing happy means you’ll start to find the path.
Now it’s time for step #2 of the I Choose Happy Process.
Step #2: Measures of Success
For this step, you’ll make two different lists.
First, list all of the ways you measure whether or not you are a success in your life. (Make it a vertical list so there’s room next to each item.) For example, on my list I had things like: how much money I make, how many books I sell, how many people sign up for my workshops, whether I have a full client load.
Now go back through your list and identify whose idea of success each item is. Society’s? TV’s? A teacher of yours? (When I did this, it was mostly my parents, though it was actually hard for me to pin down.) Notice whether any of these Measures of Success is actually yours.
Now comes the fun part. Make a new list. This is the list that, if it were totally up to you, is how YOU would measure your success. In other words, when you tune into your internal world of what resonates with you, what sings to you, what nourishes you, what is on your list?
Here’s what I found out when I did this. At the very top of my list? How much fun I had in a day. Soon after that was how much I laughed. Other surprises were: how at peace I feel when I stop “doing,” whether I have a great night’s rest, whether I’ve slowed down to deeply connect with someone, whether I sang, whether my dreams felt good. Strangely, money, books, and workshop participants were nowhere to be found.
Now your turn. What does success truly feel like from your insides? What could you point to as your own Measures of Success?
I’d love to hear what you put on your list, if you care to share with the rest of us.