“Would you rather be right or be happy?”
That question is a stock query in spiritual circles. I’ve used it in my relationship workshops to support couples to shift out of the arguments that create power struggles and back into the ease, connection, and love that brought them together. When I find that I’ve taken a position I remind myself that I’ve committed to letting go of being right, and drop back into the chaos of not knowing, which allows me to rediscover the deeper truth for myself and sometimes for those to whom I’m relating.
I recently was speaking with a wise client of mine about her inner pictures of how reality is supposed to look, and how inherently limiting those pictures were. “Take away the picture and you can let yourself see all of the possibilities outside of that frame.” She paused for a long moment. Then she said, “Oh! So that ‘would you rather be right or be happy’ idea–that can apply to your whole life!”
Suddenly my own limiting picture frame fell away and I glimpsed into a world of possibilities I’d totally missed. Ah–so being “right” is carrying around a version of reality that is all about conditioning, rules, other people’s notions of how to live. I can feel it in my body as I type, a sense of the rigid picture that I’ve applied to my life, that “this is how life is and is supposed to be.” And I notice that my body feels plastic, artificial, like I can barely breathe.
Then I try out the word “happy.” As soon as I try that word out, my body relaxes, I can breathe. For me, Happy creates the space, space for possibility, space for me to be who I really am. It’s about me taking true expression out into the world, so that I feel in alignment with my deepest self. It’s me walking through the world, step-by-step, being in my own pace, speaking what is true, creating the life that mirrors my gifts, my life path.
Playing around with these ideas has sent me into a whole new dimension. I took a Dream Day last week to steep in them, see where they would take me. I’ve created some steps that I feel thrilled by, and that I’ll be sharing in my next blogs. If you feel drawn by giving up your picture of Right to create your own new world of Happy, I invite you to take some steps with me over the next weeks. I’d love for you to share your discoveries along the way.
Because now I see–choosing Happy means choosing the life that I, that you came onto this planet to live.*
*And I’m willing to be wrong about that.