For Leslie; for us all

by julia on April 3, 2014

You may have heard that we lost a dear friend last week. Leslie True Wilson died after a brief hospitalization. We had a celebration of her life. I decided I’d like to share what I said that day (to the 50 or 60 folks gathered to celebrate and express our love to Leslie), as a message to every one of us about how important we really are in this web of life. 

 

For Leslie 

 I wonder if you’ve ever thought you didn’t matter to anyone.

Just a few days ago, Leslie said she didn’t really have any friends.

I haven’t known Leslie that long, just a few years. For some of you here, you’ve known her for 30 years, or a whole lifetime. So I’ve been a little surprised to see the impact of her loss on me. I don’t know her daily habits or who she was as a schoolgirl, or what it was like to walk with her thru her many years of challenges and how she overcame them. So why did my heart break when she left?

I’ve heard descriptions of Leslie over the past few days. About her stature; how she filled up the doorway when she walked in a room. How powerful her presence was, even if she was sitting quietly. How we knew she had our backs, just from her kind words and strong hugs.

I walked into this space yesterday and felt bereft. Leslie filled this space, tended to and cared for it. Like tilling and watching over a garden, the BC3 flourished under her careful attention. I did too. And I imagine that many of you felt the same way, that Leslie’s love allowed you to get bigger, step out into the world with more of you showing. To fill out and grow your divinity.

I’m surprised to discover that it doesn’t matter that I don’t know everything about Leslie to feel the impact of losing her. For me, it’s like there’s one less color in the world. Like the tapestry of life that I’ve grown to rely on has had some threads pulled out. They are being replaced, I know, by something much bigger and brighter, as her presence moves out from the confines of her body to a much bigger canvas. Like the shooting star Kath and I saw Tuesday night as we were walking home from dinner, I know that Leslie’s magnificence now gets to touch the galaxy.

So–if you ever wondered if you mattered, please take this lesson from Leslie’s life and her passing: you, too are an inextricable thread of life. You matter, as much as a leaf and a grain of sand and a horse and any dog. We’re in this together, forming bonds of love and light. It’s all so brief, isn’t it? As we celebrate Leslie, let us celebrate ourselves and each other. And know that we—these mortal bodies, our mischievous minds, our eternal souls–we matter.

 

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This s*&% really works

by julia on March 9, 2014

We say that back and forth to each other at the BC3*, sometimes as a high-five, sometimes with wonderment on our faces. “You know, when I said how I really felt and what I really wanted, I felt a huge weight lift off of me.” Or, “I went to see my parents, and I decided to focus on appreciating them. It was amazing! We really talked.” Or, “I realized I hadn’t actually taken 100% responsibility. Once I did that, I was back in flow.”

I have the huge privilege of participating daily  in this magic land of conscious living, this place where I walk in and know I’m home. The best kind of home, where I know I’m loved and respected and challenged to be my biggest self. Where the gentle nudge of “Julie, that was so cute how you were–that was a persona, wasn’t it??” allows me to laugh and recognize, oh, yeah, I really had gone unconscious, hadn’t I? Or the more volcanic eruption of my old triggers–oh God, right in the middle of a meeting–is met with loving, patient support, as those around me stick with me until I can find my way back to our effective, powerful tools. And–miracle of miracles–the result is a deepening of relationship instead of my old patterns of disconnection and cutting off.

It really works. The language of being more conscious, of telling the truth, having feelings fully, taking 100% responsibility, loving and appreciating what is, and PLAYING. Every moment of every day has changed for me. Really.

I’m teaching the Core Essentials Retreat weekend on April 4-6.  For the first time in the 17 years I’ve led Essentials, I’m teaching it on behalf of the Boulder Center for Conscious Community. You may want to come check it out. Or maybe you know someone who could use it. (There is a fee, but please don’t let that stop you. Talk to me about it and we’ll figure something out.)

Would you like to transform your life? Come and check out Essentials, the BC3, conscious living. I want to hear your stories–of how your life was never the same again.

 

*Boulder Center for Conscious Community

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